I never once classified what happened to me as assault. I went home and sat in the shower for an hour. And once it was, I promptly left his apartment. Like Kwame, I eventually just gave in, lying there, dissociating until it was over.
But as he grinded on me, my body noticeably tensed. I didn’t scream out, nor did I fight back as aggressively as I could have.
I MAY DESTROY YOU THE ALLIANCE EXPLAINED FREE
He still wasn’t trying to enter me, but as I wiggled around, clearly trying to free myself from underneath him, I could feel him deliberately adjusting to counteract my attempts. We never agreed to have penetrative sex, but suddenly, I could feel his erect penis planted firmly against my backside. I presumed that he was grabbing a towel to help us clean up, so I was surprised when I felt the weight of his body crush me shortly after. After we finished, I rolled over onto my stomach while the other guy stood up. However, also like Kwame, there came a time when the dynamic promptly shifted. I decided to meet with a stranger I only knew through an app, and like Kwame, had an entire sexual encounter that I’d safely classify as consensual. I was barely 20 at the time and pretty newly out of the closet. Watching Kwame’s assault, I was immediately reminded of a similar experience I had years ago.
After coming of age in an era where apps like Grindr and Scruff have made anonymous sex shockingly easy to come by, why wouldn’t you opt to get your rocks off whenever and wherever you wanted? (Sure, a grocery store might not be my first choice, but it’s not like gay men haven’t capitalized on the inherent eroticism of produce anyway.) The brief vignette does a lot to help establish Kwame’s character - self-assured and sexually adventurous, he’s a great representation of the millennial gay man. A visual punchline comes at the end, when we find out that the stranger Kwame had just blown is actually an on-duty cashier, who proceeds to ring up Kwame’s purchases without making so much as eye contact. Kwame stops at the sink to wash his hands and rinse his mouth before walking back out. Inside the stall, he drops to his knees and gives the man a blowjob. Early on in the fourth episode of HBO’s I May Destroy You, Kwame ( Paapa Essiedu), a gay Black man and best friend to the show’s protagonist, Arabella (Michaela Coel), scrolls through Grindr, settles on a message from a stranger, and slips away to meet him in a nearby restroom.
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